Monday, November 15, 2010

you think I'd know better

Heading to dance on Sat morn
After nearly 12 years as a mum you think I would have my shit together, that I had faced pretty much every obstacle, or at least the main ones. 

But no. I had a new moment today. Quite possibly the worst thing to happen as a mum.

I think I ate my kids shit.  

Yeah you read that right.  I think I ate shit. It was that or left over vegemite sandwich. I'm gonna tell myself it was vegemite sandwich, on wholemeal. Otherwise I'm never gonna stop *shuddering*  

I know I've eaten shit metaphorically many many times in my career as a parent.  It comes with the Job Description.  But I have managed to be awake enough so far to avoid doing it literally. Until today  *facepalm*

When I was a young mum I used to get a parenting magazine, I had time then to read it all, and would do so religiously garnering along the way many tips and laughs.  One story that has stuck with me was a letter from a parent about the eating habits of mums - you know, how we don't eat properly coz there's no time, we pick at our kid's leftovers - kind of a vacuuming eating thing. Kill two birds with one stone. I can see the benefit there.....  Anyways, one days this woman was clearing the table and noticed a couple of raisins on the kid's chair so she picked them up and popped them in her mouth.  Then she realised they weren't raisins. Yay! Little sheepy type poops, with love from yer child.  *erk*  I remember thinking at the time "good thing I don't eat raisins"

Foolish foolish words from a Delusional Girl.  

My downfall happened like this: Monkey was in his carseat, I had given him a vegemite sandwich when we left home, when we got to school he was a little cranky looking at his fingers and wiggling them. I noticed he had stuff that looked like mushed up vegemite sandwich on his hands, so I jumped back and licked them clean - as I have done with all my kids when we're out & about as it's easier than carrying wipes (altho I still carry them too. weird).  And here's the moment folks that it hit I withdrew his hand from my mouth I noticed yellowish brown flecks on his leg too, and his hand went down to his pants.... 

Yup.  Poos in his nappy.  *shudder* irk.

I can laugh a little now. Now that I have wiped my mouth out with a wet wipe, spat on the car park concrete, chewed on a mint, and drunk a glass of wine!  In my defence it didn't taste or smell of poo, or anything else for that matter, so it coulda been the smushed up sandwich, but I'll never know for sure. 
Me on the way to Zumba Mon Evening.   

And that's what'll haunt me folks. The not knowing if I ate shit. The possibility that I did. 

The things you will do for your child. I knew I'd be doing a lot. I never thought I would eat shit.   :O/

1 comment:

  1. Haha! I was actually laughing out loud. I sooo know how that happened. Bloody funny. We mums have some crazy stories. : D (Haven't eaten shit yet. *Touch wood.*)