Sunday, March 20, 2011

Huh. I Wonder When That Happened?

I had a realisation the other day after chatting with someone on twitter about how often I "get lucky" 

Yeah, we're a happy sharing lot there on the twitter.  That's not what the realisation was about, I know me and Captain Awesome make bunny rabbits blush  ;O)

  As the conversation progressed I mentioned that we were both "physical touch" types (in terms of the Five Love Languages - Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts).  

So as I reflected on that conversation later on, as I often do, I realised that with Captain I am a physical person. I love it when I feel his hands on me, his skin on mine, and not just when we're naked either. We could be watching tv and he strokes my lower leg = happy wee fairy. A pat on the head when I'm heading off to sleep = happy wee fairy.  A cuddle when he gets home, being silly and pushing and shoving each other = happy wee fairy.

Yet somehow, when I'm with other adults I don't hug them hello or good bye. And slack as it makes me I don't hug my kids nearly enough either.  If I'm physical, then chances are good they are too. And I'm not loving them how they need to hear it by not hugging them enough. That's bad.

I have distinct memories of when I was a teenager having lots of hugs from my friends - male and female. It was just what we did, it was a merely a physical way of expressing our friendships.  When did all that change?  Why did it change?

When did I decide, consciously or not, that I no longer needed friendship hugs? Why did I think that something that so obviously feeds my soul is no longer important?

And most importantly - how do I now change the habits of over half my life so that I feel safe and confident enough to hug people? Especially when some of these people have only known me as a Non-Hugging Adult?   :O`

1 comment:

  1. I am not a huggy person. I realized this last night most particularly. We were at a show at a bar and the Husband would hug people hello and I would stand awkwardly behind him thinking- please don't hug me. I guess they got the message because only one or two did. I hate this about myself though. I feel this way even around family. I have 3 girls and the middle one is exactly like me. The other two are touchy-feely hugging machines. I envy them.