Wednesday, January 12, 2011

quack quack quack

People often say to me things like....

"You're so organised"     "I don't know how you do it, I can't cope with just my 2 kids"  psst...neither could I. I still don't often feel like I'm "coping". 

I do what I have to do to get through today.  Argh!  don't talk about tomorrow, I'm secretly hoping it's going to implode so I can stay in bed.

I guess I have some systems in place that ensure I get the essentials done. Essentials you understand like feeding the children, getting out of my pjs before Captain gets home from work. Maybe, maybe some housework. oh man, not the washing. again. If I ignore it will it magically go away??

I have days for things - Monday = bread baking and sheet washing day. Altho, only the sheets on the younger 3's beds. It's too hard to wash 7 beds worth of sheets in one day, even with the sun shining and a sweet northerly wind a blowin'. Ok, so maybe it's only monday that's a day for things. But at least it gets done and we have bread to eat & some clean sheets in the house.  I wash nappies every other day. It's mostly only Monkey in nappies now so I can get away with this. It's a treat coz for so long now I've had at least 2 kids in nappies at any one time, and those need washing every day. Speaking of washing every day, I need to do a load of clothes every day (yes, yes, I know you're ashamed of me Grandma I lump it all together. I don't have time nor energy for sorting washing at this stage of the process - let's just get the shit in the machine!!)  I combine this with changing the napisan, then I remember to do it. For those who are unfamiliar with the wonders of napisan, it's a laundry soaker - I put all my handtowels thru it, kitchen cloths too, oh and bibs. So every morning I gather up that days handtowels etc and put them in the napisan, then get out clean ones.  I figure this cuts down on the number of germs running round my house  - and given we often have naked little boys running up the hall to find clean pants (from the clean washing mountain in the dining room), their willies flickin pee drops around like a spastic sprinkler I need all the help I can get.

Heaven knows I can't be arsed washing my hall walls every week! Does anyone do this?  I mean really. That Martha Stewart has a lot to answer for. 

And also? thank God for Padawan who folds all that washing and gets most of it put away. Seriously. I don't know how I used to do it all.  Where did I have the time???

A while back I decided that I could do a little more for the environment so decided to make some of my own household cleaners. As a result I have a spray bottle of cleaner on my toilet windowsill, next to it sit a container of baking soda & a bottle of vinegar. I realised that it would be real easy to everyday when I change my handtowels, to quickly spray down the sink and toilet then wipe it clean with the old towel, and hang up a clean one. Voila! My toilet gets cleaned everyday, and it takes less effort than I used to spend thinking about how I must remember to clean the bathroom every week. AND believe me it needs it once a week.  At least. 

Although discovering that one male child was peeing without holding his wang still helped me to understand why I couldn't seem to stop the dang room stinking!! *eye roll*  

Over the years vacuuming has slide lower & lower on my priority list. It's at the point now that Monkey and Dargling Girl get it out more often than me. Darling Girl has vacuumed under Monkey's chair the last 2 mornings to gather up food he's dropped at breakfast, fighting off Monkey trying to "help" - oh yeah, and she's the one who has sorted his breakfast for him. I'm such a fucken slacker.....

and then the other day a friend said "Our hats are most certainly off to you guys! You're like parent idol superstars!" 

It's all a freakin' facade people!! We're ducks! I know it looks like calm smooth sailing above water, but underneath we're paddling like fucken crazy! Also I would like to add to that old saying - when we tip up to get some food all we get is a mouthful of guano! 

Now I know my friend meant this as a compliment, but it freaks me out when people say such stuff. 

I Don't. Know. What. The. Fuck. I. Am. Doing. As. A. Parent.  

I'm winging it. Flying by the seat of my pants. And my kid's pants oftentimes too.  Don't stick me on that pedestal, I'll fall off. There's a reason Captain Awesome was named "the unbalanenth" (sorry that's an old school reference that I'm not sure I can tell here without revealing all our names, which is something I know Captain isn't comfortable with me doing. And I like Captain, I wanna still be able to live with him. Come see me, and I'll 'splain it all)  :O)

So anyways, winging it. Falling off Pedestals. *sigh* That's me. On the floor, a dribbling mess of sleep deprivation, telling the kids to find their own lunch and justletmereadmybookinpeace. Please. For just 10 minutes. Can you do that SirTalksALot? No. It seems not.  *sigh*  I've been thinking I should rename that child....Sir Talks Forever Unimpeded. 

STFU for short.  ;OD  see what I did there? I made a funny. Late nights serve a purpose after all I'd been stumped on that 'un for a few days now.

And now, tis time for me to go to bed. Definitely. I just found melted chocolate on my chest and in my cleavage. From about 2 hours ago when I was watching tv. 

Yes, you may commence laughing at me now.  

But please please please for all that is holy, don't look up to me. I'm struggling along as best as I can.   Same as everyone else.  *love*  :OD

1 comment:

  1. Well put DG. You are doing a wonderful job, your tribe is happy, clean and well fed, and you *still* have time to encourage others... or amuse'em with your musings.
    I won't sit you on a pedestal then, just on a very cool swing seat and try to join you there once in a while :o)
    If it doesn't make sense I'm sleep deprived is all. And suffering from not knowing what the fuck I'm doing as a parent.