Thursday, August 21, 2014

Wallowing In Bullshit


I've hit a bit of a wall.  

My youngest kid started school 5 weeks ago, which is exciting and awesome coz he's doing sooooo well with it. I wasn't sure that he was ready, I was prepared to hold off sending him (legally kids in NZ don't have to start school till they are 6 years old, just societal expectation is that they start at 5yrs). I had made plans to support him, talked to school and Playcentre so it was ok, I prepped myself so I didn't have expectations of having time to myself.....and then he started at 5 and has run with it.  He's amazing.

  I am in awe him.

And then all the other shit that has been happening in my life in the last 6-9 months (69 months? 6 TO 9 months) hit me all at once.  BAM.

It's dumb coz I thought I had processed this stuff when it happened. As it happened. I have thought about things, and re thought about them and talked to people who are smarter than me. But no. Apparently I have shit to yet deal with.

After a month of this I'm kinda a bit sick of feeling crappy. I have been fighting exhaustion and wondering if my depression is getting worse, or if it's just catching up to me after 15 years of sleep dep and preschoolers. I've thought about ways i can get myself through this, setting some fixed things into my day so that I'm not just floating through the day. I have found that altho I have 6 free hours a day I feel like I'm achieving less than I used to. So I thought I would have a nap everyday and go skating during the day, and write this more.  So far I've achieved the napping. :O/

All this is to say that I sat down twice today to write this, and had nothing  - although this post wouldn't suggest such huh?.....

Anyways, This was in the school newsletter the other week and it made me giggle..
 (it's in reference to parents parking, dropping kids off at school)
"C'mon people, we are all road users and we need to be respectful of the rules that guide us.
Everyday we have cars double parking, parking on yellow lines, parking too close to the pedestrian crossing and people being impatient. Allow me to dispel some myths; Children do not melt in the rain and they can walk more than 50m to or from the school gate, in fact it may be the only exercise they get. The last thing we want is your child, our students, being hurt.  Thanks to those behaving thoughtfully"

So glad it's not just me who thinks the way I do....  ;OD

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