Or is it Major.... time will tell I guess.
I got back from netball with the Girl this morning, realising that there is washing to do, changing handtowels, washing to fold, kitchen to clean, lunch to organise probably, and dinner..... plus I would like to work on my assignment. I've only been trying to finish Te Awa (Course 4 of the Playcentre Diploma) for 6 years now *sigh*
Going to Graduation last night, seeing others who have been around less time than me finish, get awards and recognition, made me realise that even if I don't finish it all the way (thru to Course 6) I would very much like to finish Te Awa. Even if I'm not enjoying doing it so much, which may be why it's taking me so long. But also I have had 3 kids in that time, shifted house, essentially had a breakdown, plus been active at my centre and Association, so it's not like I've just been lazing around. But still. It's kinda sad. Coz I know this shit. I've already got one degree, it's not like I can't do Diploma level work.
Anyways, that wasn't the epiphany. It was this.
I'm a housewife right? My JOB is housework. B goes out to work. The kids go out to School. I am here. My work is here. I don't get that break on the weekends that they all get. This is partly why I feel stuck in a rut (and that always feels worse on when I'm tired!)
I don't get a "Weekend" like most working people do. I work 24/7/365.
Not wonder I'm buggered and sick of it all. Wanting to escape for a week at least! and sleep, or just do the things -I- want to do.
Not that that is logistically possible. *sigh*
So. where to from here? I guess I need to talk with the Admiral really. Not a conversation I am looking forward to, I feel like I have been asking for lots in the last year, sounding tired and whingey a lot in that time too.....but needs must. *sigh*
So that was my epiphany for today. It really does follow on from my last post even tho I wasn't thinking of that when it occurred to me.
Here's hoping I can enjoy this gorgeous weather we have, have some fun with the kids and husband, and friends. Then face next week feeling even just a little refreshed, even if I can't see that now.
For now, I think I'll go hang out the washing, even tho it's Padawan's job. I just can't be arsed fighting him to do it..... *sigh*
I had a similar epiphany recently when I went to the Te Awa intro workshop. Went into it thinking "Would like to go on to do the full six courses of the Diploma". Came out of the workshop realising: "Well THAT'S not gonna happen!" Or, at least, not in the three remaining years while my children are still at Playcentre. So much to cram in to so little time!
ReplyDeleteAs you would know. What you achieve each and every day is remarkable. I have only two kids and I struggle!
But you are extremely awesome and somehow the time to finish Te Awa will find itself. Next year, at Graduation, we will be cheering, stomping and applauding for YOU!!!
Hey you, yes, YOU with the green hair and the funky tatts.
ReplyDeleteLOVE YOU! That is all.
(Nope, sorry, not quite all.)
ReplyDeleteSome things I've learnt that may be of use: you have full permission take the freakin awesome pants I bought off you and whip me with them if you think I'm being patronising but I'm just reaching out from my 'burb to yours.
Maybe use a visualisation of yourself getting said award and roaring applause?? Close eyes, see it, hear it, breathe it in, then open eyes and get an hour of study knocked off.
With the housewife thing - you're also a mother. Make sure you factor in time to get silly with your kids and laugh and stuff.
Yep, we don't GET breaks. It sucks. Maybe you could schedule them in like you do date nights?
I had a motivational idea for Padawan which might not go down with The Admiral. Do you think he'd be faster at getting off his bott to do the washing if you waved a Tupperware 250ml measuring cup in his face saying you'd ask once (verrry nicely), and every subsequent time you have to ask him to do his chore then 1 metric cup of lego would find its way through the S-bend of the toilet?
Yes, I admit, sometimes I'm a bit evil. Or should I say good at coming up with extrinsic motivation??
The issue with that is that, well, one has to follow through at least once before the child believes that yes, you're serious, and yes, you WILL throw away his toys. Even the ones he's really really attached to. Even the ones his FATHER is really really attached to.
DeleteThat's a tough line to take - and a very tough line to stick to. :-/